मेरी तरह

आधे भरे हुए जाम को होठों से लगा

बस एक यही खयाल बार बार आया

ये शराब की बोतल इतनी चुप कैसे रहती है

न जाने कितने झूठ, कितने फरेब,

कितने ग़म अपने अंदर घोल रखे है

न जाने कितने आंसू पीये बैठी है

कितनी कहानियां कितने ही किस्से

अपने दिल की गहराई में दफन किये है

फिर भी एकदम चुपचाप सी पड़ी रहती है

एक लफ्ज़ कभी इसकी ज़ुबान पर नहीं

अपनी मोहब्बत का नामोनिशान तक नहीं

खामोश बस दुनिया को समेटे जाती है

शायद मेरी तरह, शायद नहीं, बिल्कुल मेरी तरह।

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दिल तोड़ के तेरा…

दिल तोड़ के तेरा बता किधर जायें

किस कूचे पे रो रो कर पिघल जायें

जो अश्क़ों में मेरे बसी होती मरहम

तो खुद को मिटा कर दवा हो जायें

कुछ तो बोल ये खामोशी चीखती है

या फिर दे दुआ कि अब गुज़र जायें

न मैंने बुलाया, न उनसे आया जाता है

दिल से दर्द की ये कैसी साझेदारी है

जिसको भी दिल दो वही दर्द देता है

मोहब्बत के खेल में दो तरफा हार है

दिल मरता जाता है दर्द भरता जाता है

किससे कहें हाल, रूह खामोश सी है

न मैंने बुलाया, न उनसे आया जाता है

Imtehaan

Har baar na poocha karo kitni mohabbat hai

Maut si lagne lagi hai zindagi tumhare bina.

Berang zindagi se abhi tak ubrey nahi the hum

Kyu keh dia phir tumne ‘Meri yaad toh aati hai na?’

Yuin Imtehaan liye jaate ho meri khamoshi ka

Buut bann ke reh gaye tumhare deedaar ke bina

Depression~ the monster in our closets.

They say music heals. But if that was true, musicians would not have succumbed to depression. 

The truth is when you fall into this pit nothing comes to help. Please don’t become the cause of someone’s fall into the vicious circle of depression and self questioning. People might seem strong outside but you may not know how weak they are inside, you may not realize how a mildly depressed mind can slip into having suicidal thoughts. 

Be honest with yourself and others, say what you feel, don’t lead anyone into a zone where you can’t be with them. It might hurt at the beginning but in the longer run it can save a mind from going haywire.

Gift to myself

Friends used to tell me that working out makes them happier. I used to wonder how can it be? ( Yeah yeah Endorphins and all that is cool) How can physical activity make one mentally calm. It’s been only 3 days and I can feel the difference. I have combined gym with zumba and yoga to make it more fun. Not only I am happier but my thoughts are less cluttered. There is a calmness, a stillness that I have never experienced before. No wonder when I go there in the evening, I don’t feel like coming back until I have done everything. Since this is just the beginning there are moments when I feel I should let it be, end the set at 12 instead of 15. But something inside keeps me going. Is is something that I had lost over time. It is something I wanted to seek once more in myself. It is the most wonderful gift to myself.

Udhaar

Uss raat kamre mein roshni roz se kuch tez thi

Aas paas ki imaraton mein log shayad jage huye honge

Aadhi raat hone ko thi, bistar maano bhatti bann gaya tha

Taaze dhule huye kapdon ki khushboo se kamra mehek raha tha

Kapdon ki ladi se khidki ke bahar ka nazara chupa hua sa tha

Par ek roshandaan ne kamre ko jagmag kiya hua tha

Maine karwat li. Yakaayak meri nazar roshandaan ke bahar padi

Roshandaan aur uspe bane chhajje ki oat se khud ko bachta bachaata chaand kamre mein jhaank raha tha

Kamre ki chhat pe apni safaed chandni se athkheliyaan kar raha tha ki meri nazar ne usey pakad liya

Ghabraye se chaand ne aahista se poochha, “kya chahiye?”

Maine ussey kaha, “apni thodi si sharaarat mujhe udhaar dede, mera bachpan shayad kahin kho gaya hai.”